I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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