Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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