I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Found the puke drawer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
