Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
