You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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