My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
