He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
