Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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