There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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