I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize