her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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