Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
