two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
