dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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