Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This toilet bowl is my home.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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