I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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