why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Omg I joined a choir last night...
why is half of my head shaved?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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