I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
