He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
