It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
