last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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