well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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