so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
