I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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