So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
