There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
