The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
