I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we're chasing vodka with high fives
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
