So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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