i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
