pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
