If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
