is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
