just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
