I need help removing her.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
