The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
