I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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