for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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