Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
