I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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