haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
