All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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