I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My vagina is officially offended.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
