My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
