remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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