He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
