there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sext me about skeletons
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
