there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
