If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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It's rum buckets o'clock
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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