; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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