your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
