You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
