I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
