I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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