Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
