you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
