i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
