The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
