I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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