i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
